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廖天琪:写在晓波缺席于诺奖颁奖典礼之日
(博讯北京时间2010年12月10日 转载)
    廖天琪更多文章请看廖天琪专栏
    来源:参与 作者:廖天琪
     (博讯 boxun.com)
    
    今天是刘晓波获得诺贝尔和平奖的日子,该奖一百多年来首次颁发给一名中国人,但是获奖人和他的家属,甚至接近的朋友都被禁足在自己的国家,不能前来领奖。苏格兰笔会特别制作了一张“刘晓波椅子”,飘洋渡海运到奥斯陆,放在市政府大厅,这张空的椅子,提醒人们,它的主人——应当享受到国际最高荣誉的刘晓波,在一切以他为中心的颁奖典礼、晚宴和音乐会中都是缺席的。东道国的国王、皇后和欧洲皇室、各国使节、作为应邀贵宾的海外的朋友们,济济一堂,在灯火辉煌、布满鲜花的华丽大厅中,为他举杯庆祝。很多人心中有无限的惆怅,晓波在哪里,他挚爱的刘霞在哪里?
    
    让我们跨越时空,先到刘霞那里去拜访吧。一走到北京海淀区玉渊潭南路9号,从远处就看到刘霞的那栋楼房前停着白色的警车,多名警察在车里车外巡游,想去采访的中外记者老远就被拦阻在外,落发消瘦的诗人刘霞独守空室:…
    
    洗净烟缸和茶几
    然后用玻璃杯子
    泡上两杯龙井或乌龙
    你坐在茶几的一侧
    注视着对面空座位前的茶杯
    
    …
    
    你会盯着杯子倾听
    是否有钥匙插入锁孔的声音
    
    …
    
     你端起茶杯呷了一口
     然后冲着太阳举起
     你的手指和杯子一起
     被阳光笔直地穿透
     掌心也被透明的叶片染绿
     淡淡的
     似乎还有一丝惊恐
    
     你知道对面的茶杯
     要空着很长时间
     那个深夜开你门的人
     还要等很长时间
    
    
     选自晓波诗“阳光和茶杯--给每天喝茶的小手指”
    
    
     刘霞会等很久,也许她还要等十年。
    
     我们再到位于辽宁的小城南山的锦州监狱去探望晓波。走进监狱的大门,里面错落无序有许多楼房。蓦然举头,可以看见一座办公楼的大墙上面画着大字:“1984”。 几个月前,刘霞在不锈钢老鼠刘荻、王金波、莫之许和王仲夏的陪同之下曾经来探过监。他们惊讶于奥威尔还魂于此,窃笑着要为“1984”摄影留念时,曾经被分别拘留审问了数小时。
    
     我们走进晓波的牢房,跟其他5名刑事犯共居一室的晓波,也如寻常犯人一样剃光了头,他身上是臃肿的棉袄和棉裤,围巾、帽子和手套在牢房里都省不了,因为水泥地面是冰冷的,而且几米高的天花板下的一个小小窗户总是开着的。高处不胜寒,然而这是他唯一能仰望一方蓝天的途径。冬天,室内温度即便比室外高,也仅是零上几度而已。寒冷的空气把角落里那个便桶的臭味稍微中和了,但是几名大汉每天的排泄物是不能小看的。臭味不但弥漫室内,而且穿透棉衣,进入毛孔皮肤。这是晓波第一次在这北方的牢里过冬,虽然他是东北人,但是适应毕竟还有过程。他不知道是否会长冻疮,不知常年在水泥地上坐卧,是否会加重他颈椎和背脊的疼痛和引发肾炎。他的胃病已经发作数次了。
    
     今天的晓波坐在牢房里,他情绪激动,但是不能表现出来,否则可能会遭到同屋的讥讽。可以想象他的心已经飞向奥斯陆,他的脑海里不断浮现一些幻影,他会问,颁奖仪式都有谁出席,谁会代我领奖,不会是小霞吧,她这么久没音信了。我脑海里写好的获奖感言谁读得出来?国王是穿着燕尾服、皇后是戴着皇冠出席晚宴的吗?高贵的客人们举杯祝贺时,他们会想到六四亡灵和天安门母亲吗?
    
     坐在牢里的晓波当然也并不知道,自从他得奖的消息公布之后,诱发了中南海的地震,里面的爷们脑震荡不轻,随之而来的妄想症如脱缰野马,诸公咸认为我们的敌人遍天下,赶紧把摇笔杆的泼皮分子和河蟹食客看紧了,别让他们到外面去危害国家安全。
    
     不过最让晓波跌破眼镜的是来自自认(封)为“文化精英”阵营里的同行刺客。蜗居海外的一小批被边缘化的失意文人,由于进入不了所在国的主流文化,长久积压,集怨成疾,心里有病、有鬼、有恨、有仇,躲在阴暗的角落里,大作文章,漫天散发,十足体验了强奸言论自由的快感,自己能意淫亵渎一位诺贝尔和平奖的尊严,当上一回大战风车的唐吉珂德,屁股后还有个桑裘潘撒呐喊助阵,这番喧哗,让国际社会都有些迷惑了,岂不风光。对这些人,晓波大概只能给他们一个疲惫的笑容。
    
     也许2010年12月10日“监狱贵族”刘晓波的晚餐,除了带沙子的水煮蔬菜之外,还加了几块肥肉,这是上面下达的特别恩赐,馍馍可以多拿一个,饭也被允许多盛一碗,总之,是难忘的、可以填饱肚子的一餐,毕竟作为诺贝尔和平奖得主,他是中国第一人啊。
    
    On the Day that Liu Xiaobo is absent at the Nobel Prize Ceremony
    
    By Tienchi Martin-Liao, December 10, 2010
    
    Today is the day that Liu Xiaobo receives the Nobel Peace Prize. In its one hundred year history, this is the first time that the prize is awarded to a Chinese citizen. Yet the laureate, his family members, even close friends are incarcerated in their own country, and no one can come to receive the Award. Scottish PEN has produced a "Liu Xiaobo chair," it has been sent over the ocean to reach Oslo. Now it stands in the city hall. This empty chair, a reminder that its owner, who should enjoy the highest international honor today, is absent from the ceremony, banquet and concert, which are devoted to him. The host country's king, the queen and the European royal families, foreign ambassadors and representatives, as well as invited guests from overseas, gather together in the bright hall, decorated with flowers, and make a toast to him. But many of us are still melancholy, and we ask, where is Liu Xiaobo and his beloved Liu Xia?
    
    Let us overstep time and space and visit Liu Xia first. We are now in Haidian District, Beijing, Yuyuantan South road, number 9. From a distance one can see the white building where the Lius live. The white police cars parked in front of the house, several policemen parade around. The journalists from far and near are blocked some hundred meters away, no one can cross into the forbidden zone. Thin, with a shaved head (or short-cropped hair), Liu Xia is sitting alone in the empty home.
    
    …
    
    
    Rinse the ashtray the coffee table wiped
    Take the glass cups
    
    Boil two cups of Longjing or Oolong
    
    Aside the table you sit
    
    Looking at the cup in front of the empty seat
    
    
    Stare at the cup, listen
    
    Is there the move of key in the hole
    
    ...
    
    
    
    The cup in the hand, you take a sip
    Lifted the cup to the sun
    Cup and your fingers
    
    Penetrated by the sun
    Palm was stained by the transparent green
    
    Delicate
    A hint of panic is there too
    
    The cup on the opposite site you know
    Will be empty for a long time
    It takes long
    
    Till the man opens your door
    
    ----Quote of Liu’s poem "Sunshine and Cups - to my Little Finger who drinks tea every day"
    
    Liu Xia may wait for a long time, maybe another ten years.
    
    
    Now we visit Xiaobo in Jinzhou prison in the small town Nanshan in Liaoning Province. Entering the gate, we confront several buildings scattered in disorder. Surprisingly we see huge numbers painted on a great wall of an office building: 1984. A few months ago, Liu Xia, accompanied by the Stainless Steel Mouse Liu Di, Wang Jinbo, Mo Zhixu and Wang Zhongxia, came here for a visit. They were amazed at Orwell’s rebirth in a Chinese prison; snickering, they took pictures in front of the "1984" wall. Several officers rushed furiously out of the building and took them into custody. Separately they were interrogated for several hours.
    
    We enter Xiaobo’s cell now. He shares with five other prisoners a 3 by 4 meter space. His head is bald, shaved like an ordinary criminal, his body is swollen by the padded jacket and trousers. Scarf, hat and gloves are a must in the cell, because the concrete floor is cold. The small window under the high ceiling is always open. In winter, the indoor temperature is higher than outdoors, it is a few degrees above zero. The odor of the open toilet bucket in the corner is neutralized by the cold air, but one cannot pretend that the daily waste of several men is not there. The smell not only fills the room, it penetrates through clothes, into the pores of the skin. This is the first winter that Xiaobo spends in a prison in northern China; he will have to adjust himself to the circumstances. He does not know whether he will have frostbite. To sit and lie on the concrete floors all year round may cause neck and spine pain and lead to kidney problems. His stomach disease has given him a hard time since his imprisonment.
    
    Xiaobo has exited his cell today, but he does not want to show it, otherwise his cell-mate might become cynical and angry. Sitting there, his thoughts fly to Oslo. He has constant dreams about it. Who will be there at the ceremony, who will receive the prize for me? It could not be Liu Xia, she has not sent any sign of life for a while. My acceptance speech is long written in my head, but who can read it out loud for me? Does the King wear a majestic tuxedo, and the Queen her crown at the banquet? Will the distinguished guests think of the dead in Tiananmen Square and the Tiananmen mothers and make a toast?
    
    Sitting in the dungeon Xiaobo does not know that the announcement of his award induced a tsunami in Zhongnanhai, and the rulers had a mild concussion, followed by delusions: they believe that their enemies are all over the world, so the grip on the naughty writers and the guy who held the crab dinner party must be tightened, they must not go outside the country, otherwise they could endanger national security.
    
    Liu Xiaobo’s dinner on December 10, 2010 may look like this: boiled vegetables with sand, a few pieces of fat meat as a special treat from above. He might have an extra piece of steamed bread, and his rice bowl could also be refilled today. In short, it is a privileged meal that will long be remembered, because it is a meal that will leave the stomach truly filled. After all, he is the first Chinese to win the Nobel Peace Prize.
    
    
     参与首发,转载请注明出处 (www.canyu.org)

(Modified on 2010/12/10) (博讯 boxun.com)

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